A Dive into Healing Journeys

Healing is such a hot topic in todays podcast conversation and pop culture. In a society where trauma is unescapable and unrelenting, people are naturally desperate for understanding, peace, protection, and solutions in general. Conversations around self awareness, better decision making, how we’re raised, health, avoiding toxic situations and toxic people, healing in general etc. have become conversations being had amongst every demographic of people in our society. And as is the case with everything in our societies, people have even found ways to exploit people’s trauma and capitalize off of people’s need for healing. Sure there are people that are either educated or gifted with abilities in fields that are created to assist people that experience mental, emotional, or spiritual trauma and they deserve compensation for their willingness to help facilitate the things those people need to embark on a healing journey. But then there are those people that prey upon the most vulnerable people they can. They see people’s trauma as a way to easily manipulate them, either stringing them along, or convincing them that they are fully healed from whatever it was that they endured. Which often times leads to more internal conflict and confusion, because I personally don’t really believe in the concept of a person being “fully healed” from mentally, emotionally, or spiritually traumatic things that they have endured. Healing isn’t linear and something that happened 10 years ago can bring back memories that make that 10 years feel like yesterday. You may have learned how to deal with the trauma from day to day, you may have made peace with it or something else but the healing, in my opinion is continuous and forever. Once you start a journey of healing, every version of yourself you become can be traced back to the version of yourself you were when you experienced that hurt or traumatic experience. And along that healing journey people experience so many different things, they experience self hate, anger, denial, self identity/awareness issues etc. because trauma changes a person forever, but not only does it change a person forever, it gives way for unprecedented and continuous change. You become new versions of yourself over and over again, each version building upon the ups and downs of healing from the trauma(s) you endured. Which would mean that healing is life long.

Speaking from my own personal experience healing has been such an incredible teacher. I have learned so many things about myself, people, the world around me, everything really. Various healing eras, and attitudes have contributed to who I am in this moment. I’ve had victories and setbacks. I’ve had break throughs and break downs, but what seemed to help the most for me during every era (past and present) was isolation…I isolate myself for long periods of time and stopped giving people access to my energy. Its never personal, its necessary for my survival and my growth. Its necessary so I can once again learn who I was/am becoming, because somewhere along the line I seem to always lose my identity. And perhaps that’s because I’m always changing into newer versions of myself, but whatever is the case, its hard learning who I have become, and to be honest, I’m still learning who I am because who I am is forever changing. But the things that I have learned and am learning I hold on to them and I don’t allow anyone to make me feel a certain way or ashamed about it, because that’s how I lost my identity in the first place. And if I lose sight of who I was, who I am, or who I’m becoming, then that would open me up to losing my identity again. Which would ultimately lead to the same cycle of hurt and healing…That’s one way healing can be continuous, but lets say we learn our lessons the first time, the way we move forward and the person we become because of it will forever be a reflection of what we no longer wish to experience. Which, to me, is an indication that healing is continuous and is needed for every single version of ourselves that we become.

Another slept on and highly ignored part of growth and healing is how the people around you treat or view you. So many people, because of their own insecurities and lack of understanding/empathy etc. will take your healing journey personally, especially if it consists of an isolation period where they too don’t have access to you. So many people tend to make other people’s healing journey about them. And it’s truly unfortunate, especially if those people are genuinely people you love/care about. There are people in your life that cannot take the feeling of (what they considered as) being “ignored” in the midst of your storms. It’s a hurtful thing to feel attacked by people you love while you’re internally fighting for your own life, all because they’re self centeredness has made your coping mechanisms about them. It’s especially unfortunate because this could lead to setbacks on a person’s healing journey if they also have to balance taking care of the feelings and emotions of people around them all while they’re struggling to manage their own because often times this creates extreme guilt in the person that’s self isolating.  In a perfect world we would all extend each other grace. Not just in those moments when we need it the most, but grace every day in every interaction with one another.

Healing and the journey thereof is personal to the person going through it and no two journeys will ever look the same. That’s why it’s important to stay true to who you are what feels like it’s helping. It is indeed helpful to seek help, whether its professionally or through learning from other people’s testimonies/examples, but ultimately your healing journey is yours to figure out. And the opportunity to figure out our own path to healing is actually the blessing that comes from out of the storm that caused whatever it is we may be going through. People may judge you, people may be angry, you may question yourself, you may even be confused and have no idea what to do or which direction to go, and all of these things are ok and natural to experience, just remember, the most important part on your healing journey is to be kind, patient, and understanding to yourself, and don’t forget to give yourself some grace.